This was a heavy week for all of us, whether you were mourning personal experiences of racial injustice and a lifetime of microaggressions, or you were uncomfortably faced with your own ignorance about a huge problem in America. I had several conversations with fellow white friends, but I want to know what to do next. How can we keep this topic at the forefront and not slide back into ignorance? How can we effect this next generation to do better? How can we diversify who we're friends with, who we're buying from, and who we're promoting?
I was first introduced to this topic in college when students of color voiced their hurt at an iconic mural on my Christian campus, a painting of a white Jesus. It was something I had never thought about, and my first reaction was to push back and say something like that isn't a big deal. The man who had posed for the painting had Jewish blood, so obviously the artist was being considerate enough.
Little did I know where that hurt was coming from, and I'm ashamed that my first response was feeling that they were over-reacting. Why didn't I first ask questions? No one would be this upset without a reason, without stories to tell, without some pretty traumatic things happening to them even in this day and age.
When we were still dating in college, my husband and I joined a group called MEPD (Multi-Ethnic Programs and Development) as 2 of the 3 white students in the large group of racially diverse students. Ironically, very few white students were interested in a group like this, but it was the white students who needed to be there to listen to the stories. Here are a couple that have stuck with me over the years and a couple that I've heard this past week:
"I saw a person lock their door when I walked by their car just because of the color of my skin. They thought I was a person who would hurt them without knowing anything about me."
"Band-Aids are meant to blend in with your skin so that they don't show, but that only works if you're white. Why don't they have Band-Aids for every skin color?"
"It was just assumed that I was smart because of my ethnicity. I didn't get congratulated for being successful in school even though I worked really, really hard."
"I can't wear a hoodie... ever. I can't just go to the grocery store in sweats because I'm feeling lazy that day because I'll be treated differently. I'm constantly aware of my body language, proving that I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not dumb before ever being able to tell you my qualifications."
"I was suddenly afraid for my life as they shouted obscenities at me. They wanted me to know that my life had as much value to them as an animal."
These sorts of stories are so hard to hear, but we must listen. I fully admit that I don't know much about this heavy topic, but I want to commit to keep learning and taking a stand against racial discrimination and social inequality. There are tons and tons of resources out there, but here are at least a few things I've found over the last week that might be helpful for you too:
Don't Make People of Color Have to Teach You - Do Your Research
The Doll Test - This fights against our quick reaction to say, "Well, I'm not racist and I'm not teaching my kids to be racist." It is so much more complex than we think, and we must do our part to research and learn.
Know the difference between I'm Not Racist vs. Anti-Racism
Learn why #bluelivesmatter and #alllivesmatter are hurtful to those supporting #blacklivematter
Learn why pointing out that you have a "token black friend" is not the answer
Resources for Teaching Your Kids
Kids Books Featuring Black Heroes and Characters that Every Kid Should Read from The Every Mom blog
30 Things to Read and Do to Further Your Anti-Racist Learning from The Every Mom blog
Buy a pack of multi-cultural crayons so that your kids can accurately draw their friends
Olive and Eve Co. designed the cute coloring pages pictured above, and they're a free resource! She also has other designs that promote the Black Lives Matter movement, and all proceeds from these designs will go to The Love Land Foundation.
Most of all, we need Jesus. We need his love and his ability to seek out and serve the socially marginalized. We need his upside-down kingdom where he didn't prioritize his reputation, his needs, or his comfort but lived life with social outcasts, healed hurting people, and died on the cross so that love, mercy, and hope could prevail.
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